A glimpse into Amy

“Just wait until you’re a mother, then you’ll understand.”
“Yeah, give it a few years, Amy. You’ll be singing a different tune.” In their laughter, the group representing the female contingent of the small law firm did not notice Amy’s pretty face turning stony, but then quickly giving way to a small smile.

“Maybe” was her only comment as she shrugged her shoulders and turned away from the small gathering, struggling for nonchalance. She could feel the tears pricking the back of her eyelids; a quick duck into the mailroom under the pretense of sorting through the stack of papers she was carrying would give her time to compose, regain some control.

“Shake out of it,” she scolded herself, “you’ve heard worse than this before.” It had to have been the nightmare; it had weakened her defenses so carefully built up over time. “Come on, you know they didn’t mean anything by it and they’re certainly not going to expect you to break down in tears…”

Sunshine, that’s what they called her – though whether it was from the bright, always present smile or the shock of golden red curls she never was quite sure. Being the youngest member of the family owned company, she became almost their pet, their mascot of sorts. “How did we ever survive without you, Amy?” was the continual praise. Still, this indispensability could be reflected more in her paycheck. Amy gave a wobbly attempt at a smile as the random thought floated through her head; she did get paid well, almost too well for being a simple, glorified go-fer. And while her superiors could be demanding, and at times thoughtlessly condescending, she really did like her job and enjoyed serving them. It had been a prayer answered when she had escaped to this pretty little town, running from her past.

Still, comments like those continued to bother her, not just here but with parents everywhere across the globe. What gave them the right to discount her opinion so quickly, so thoroughly? Anger was quickly replacing sorrow, which was good. Anger was her friend, her way back to gaining some self-control. What was it about parents that as soon as they successfully pushed out one child into the world, thought they somehow gained access to this secret club and were rewarded with profound wisdom? Just wait until she was a parent… why couldn’t she matter now? Didn’t they realize that with a background in child psychology, she in fact may be better informed than they? Her anger began to cool and she grimly grinned at the realization that no, they probably didn’t know her true qualifications. When applying, she kept her credentials – though true – to the bare minimum, wanting people to know as little about her as necessary. She had needed a safe haven; somewhere she wouldn’t be confronted with her history everyday, where she wouldn’t have to face the pity in the eyes around her. And this small firm had provided that for her and had in time become her family, though they must have been remarkably lax in their review of her application. Yes, they really did need her. Amy’s grin was a bit more genuine now, authentic enough for her to leave the mailroom behind and go finish out her day.