So I was driving to work this week and a line from a song caught my attention and just stuck around for awhile, floating in my head. The line: "I don't want to go through the motions." The song was about having a genuine relationship, not a phony attempt at one. This type of earnest desire for closeness struck me; how many want this in their relationship and are willing to put themselves out there and try after the luster of love seems to fade? How many give up, quit, move on?
A story emerged of a young woman struggling with this same issue; she still wants the intimacy with this man she continues to loves, but has chosen to give up instead. And now, as she is sitting in the courtroom preparing to finalize her divorce, she is contemplating if her decision is the right one. I was imagining that Lisa, our troubled young woman, would choose at the last possible minute to choose love and risking everything would make her desire known to the now estranged man whom she at one time had pledged her life to. A simple story of one’s love and devotion to another, realized bit by bit through memories as she is about to end that very union. It seems slightly (or more than slightly) trite, I know; perhaps too passé. But as the day had progressed, this is what had developed out of that one line, which in itself said something. And happen the way it is outlined above, it did – though not perhaps in the way one might think.
You see, I had played with the story all day in my mind; the boss is not liking me to concretely create anything, but thus far has not been able to penetrate any telepathic clues of where my focus lies. And upon arriving home, sat down to write what I had come up with. I used the techniques we tried last week and made lists to get a better hold on Lisa, and then proceeded with this weeks exercises. The limit of 550 words was a tad daunting, and I have discovered I am a wee bit loquacious – something I am sure my family would be the first to agree with. The strain of trying to complete the entire story in such a limited number of words and say everything I wanted to say is what I believe forced the tale to take a different path. Lo and behold, there was a surprise ending – no one was more shocked by it than I. Now, I am not sure that I am supposed to be sharing the ending of the tale, and I am even less sure that it will make much sense to any of you, having not experienced the beginning – but being that I do not feel at this point I am going to be exploring this any further, divulge I will. You have been forewarned.
****** SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT ******
She [Lisa] put down the pen and moved towards him, taking the first steps in reclaiming her life. She wanted to say that she loved him, wanted to explain how never would she be able to find another who could love her as he did. This and so much more she wanted to scream out from the rooftops; however, the wires holding her jaw firmly in the correct place to mend prevented her from speaking. It was yet another legacy from their lives together.
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I have another story, this one is one that I had started years ago and it is only the barest beginning of an idea. I tried the exercise in the book to generate some endings, thinking perhaps I could revive it. I am going to put the tale in its entirety (which isn’t much) into this blog; and the ending ideas I have come up with. I’m not really happy with any of them, but like some of the wording in the tale that I am not quite ready to abandon it. Any assistance would be welcome.
The tale:
Maggie sat tapping her pencil on the table. “Write something you know about, write something you know about. That’s what they always say. What do I possibly know that would be of any interest to anyone? It’s not as if I’ve had that fascinating of a life. Am I supposed to tell how my little brother used to stick peas up his nose and shoot them out like little booger bullets whenever I had a friend over for dinner?”
“Stories aren’t supposed to be about ordinary life. They are supposed to be an escape from the doldrums, a vacation from reality.” Fully motivated by her stand, Maggie stood up and started pacing around her tiny room. “Love, romance, princes coming to dance you away, that’s what stories are supposed to be.” Bed springs groaned slightly as Maggie flopped back against the ruffled pillows; a dreamy look filtering into her gaze “Princes, gypsies, thieves and rogues…”
Faster and faster, the horses race through the forest leaving branches snapping and leaves flying in their wake. The sound of pounding hooves vibrated throughout the valley. “Ye better be quick lads, they’re gaining on us.” Animals scurried out of the way while up above birds squawked their displeasure at the disruption of the forest’s solitude.
“Those fat, lazy beasts will be missing their nice, warm beds soon enough.”
“Are ye meanin’ the horses or the guards?” Raucous laughter rang through the trees as the tiny band ducked dangling tree limbs and dodged rotting trucks. And sure enough, cloud of dust steadily trailing in the distance soon faded further and further behind until it had vanished entirely from view.
“They’ve gotten closer that time. Almost if they were laying in wait; like they knew we were coming.” The leader eyed his men carefully. He was a slender man, standing a full head shorter than those around him. Jet black hair flowed to his shoulders, curls which were allowed a wild rein framed a face kissed by the angels. Separately, each feature was nothing remarkable, perhaps even a tad on the unsightly – the nose somewhat crooked, the mouth too full. But situated together in an expression that bespoke of rebellion and excitement, it was impossible not to get swept away on the adventure.
Ok, again it seems headed for the trite world of harlequin romances and cookie cutter plot lines. I am unsure of how to rescue it.
Ideas:
1. Maggie gets inserted into the world of the as of yet nameless leader and tale develops into a spoof of the classic “Robin Hood”
2. Maggie keeps dreaming of the rebel boy, and in continuing to write discovers that her own past holds secrets she had long such buried.
a. Ie. a suppression of abuse, perhaps some type of multiple personality situation…
b. Or the secrets could just be of a fascinating ancestry that has long been forgotten and she uncovers
c. Or the tragedy is perhaps that of a classmate, and we learn that stories of real life often are a result of real pain.
3. Abandon Maggie altogether and focus on a time period tale – would completely start from scratch as all I know is that there are some guards and some vagabonds.
4. Maggie rejects all in her life that do not live up to her ideal, do not match the fantasy and finds herself a decade or two later alone with nothing but her dreams
5. Maggie gets her dream and ends up in a time of princes, thieves and rogues, only to discover how tough medieval times were and how good she had it.
See, none of these really work – and perhaps that should be my sign to shelf this again. Even more telling was when thinking of why we were invited to share Maggie’s life at this particular juncture, I had no clear answers. Hmm, leaves one to wonder…
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The fact that you've taken the time and thought this story out may mean that perhaps you shouldn't abandon it quite yet.
ReplyDelete"jennifervandezande" makes a good point. Even if you don't continue it now, there is no reason to abandon it. You never know when you will think of something that clicked. Take it from someone that had a notebook of stuff written down, and a rough draft of 12 chapters of a book...and tossed them away.
ReplyDeleteLet me third Jen and Michael's comments -- never throw anything! Well, you know, empty cans and used coffee fliters, sure -- but not not story ideas! Both of the ideas you've sketched out here have potential. Although Lisa's story is hard to get a handle on with only the end before us, the near-reconciliation could be incredibly powerful -- the fact that she can push herself to move toward him but can't bring herself to speak reveals the kind of damaged love that can remain after a relationship disentegrates.
ReplyDeleteThe opening of Maggie's story is also intriguing. Just as you expressed concern about that first story being a bit trite, you want to look for ways to make this story truly yours. You could make this a cross-over fantasy, sending Maggie into that world -- which leaves you with the challenge (a fun one) of making that world and her role there unique. Or you can explore how that world might reflect something from her own experience -- a wrestling with abuse, for example, as you suggest. Or you could do both -- and leave the truth of it (is this world real or not?) in doubt.
One of the most sophisticated fantasy series out there is Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever. Covenant is a man in our world suffering from leprosy. It destroys his marriage and shatters him emotionally. He suddenly finds himself in another world, in which is leprosy is gone and he is a legendary hero -- and, of all things, it is the white gold of his wedding ring that grants him power. He's still damaged goods, however -- and his shattered self-image prevents him from accessing his magic. And, of course, hovering over it all is the possibility that none of this is real -- that this entire world is an externalization of his internal state.
So -- it is possible to set out on a path that's been walked before, but wind up in a place no one else has ever been!